Jen Pollock Michel’s essay on aging links the cult of youth to the fear of becoming a burden
Jen Pollock Michel’s essay on aging links the cult of youth to the fear of becoming a burden
On September 1, writer Jen Pollock Michel published a review in Christianity Today of Jen Wilkin’s book “Dust to Dust”, which examines aging and care within families. Michel traces how the desire to look young becomes connected to the fear of fading from view and needing help.
Michel begins with a photograph of 60-year-old Elisabeth Elliot taken in 1986. The portrait shows gray hair, wrinkles around her eyes, and folds in her neck. Michel sees these signs of aging as features that the cosmetics industry has taught people to conceal. She writes that anxiety about appearance reflects deeper fears of losing one’s attractiveness, becoming invisible to others, and burdening loved ones.
Wilkin describes human life as a cycle of receiving and providing care. A child receives care, an adult cares for younger and older people, and an older person begins receiving help again. This mutual care connects generations and preserves human dignity. Wilkin puts it this way:
“I want to direct the undeserved gift of good health and many years toward serving others. I want to treat my body with respect without making it my highest priority.”
To explain this anxiety, Michel recounts Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung’s book on vainglory. DeYoung defines vainglory as dependence on public approval. When people become afraid of losing that approval, they try to hide what they consider a flaw. The review connects the fear of aging with the fear that others will stop noticing a person or regarding that person as useful and independent.
Michel also brings longevity medicine into the discussion. In her view, fear of future helplessness can lead a person to try to avoid dependence. In a June conversation with Ross Douthat, Christian Angermayer also distinguished health from appearance. He associated excess weight with health risks, suggested leaving hair loss alone, and linked the desire to live longer with having more time with one’s children. The review places two motives side by side: preserving the strength to remain close to loved ones, and retaining youth, beauty, independence, and the approval of others.